There's no way you can gain trust again, even if it wasn't fully there. So, I'm basically fucked. I'm stuck between someone I "love" and my instincts. I don't want to live like this. I hate constantly wondering and questioning every situation. Although most beg to differ, my instincts are always right. If I would have listened to them, I would be better off right now. I said love wasn't enough, and I meant it. I wish it was, I wish love would be enough to make my instincts shut the fuck up already. When your lied to so many times, you don't know who's being truthful and who's not. I am beyond frustrated, I feel like I'm living with enemies. The only person on my team is myself. I'm losing this battle everyday, coming home defeated, never really coming face to face with my troubles. I was the only person I could rely on and it seems like I can't even help this situation. I might miss out on a lot of things because I give up so quickly, but can you blame me? I have the same sob story every female has. I'm trying to change that, even if that means being alone for most of my life. I'll try not to go back to having "friends with benefits" but half of the time my pussy thinks before my heart. Back then, I was starting to confuse love with sexual desire, I didn't know that there was emotions tied to love. I didn't know I could feel, because I never really felt. I was manipulated and infatuated, not in love. I have to work on me, before I can work on us but since trust is gone, know that things will never be the same.
Justina De Vill (2:00:14 PM) : when a person is wrong, they cry
Justina De Vill (2:00:16 PM) : thats my theory.
No comments:
Post a Comment