The Truth is, The Truth Hurts.

This probably won't make sense, so bare with me.

I'm angry, not at him but because I let my guard down knowing what I was getting into. I knew what he was since day 1. I knew he was lying about it all, but I decided to keep going because I thought maybe he wasn't lying about how he felt about me. Maybe I could change him, regardless of the bullshit he did. Maybe he was one of those guys, that every girl hopes for, but never meets. But see, the things I hated about him were the things that made me want to be with him. I was chasing him hoping for a change, not realizing I was running in circles. I wanted change, but I didn't want to change myself. I held on grudges from the past and used the same failed techniques for my future. Playing Miss Inspector Gadget, knowing I'd find the worst. But see, I thought finding out the truth about everything would save me heartache.

"no one will give you the truth all the time. If they did, the time youd be spending trying to figure out the truth with someone else youd be spending trying to figure out if they really love you" - Raven

I'm hurt. I have that feeling in my chest: you know, the kind that feels like every breath hurts more than the last and if you stop breathing it feels like it's going to explode. I didn't think it was possible for that to happen again. I know I'll get over it, I've been down this road before I just didn't think I'd be back here. I've learned from this, as I do with every experience. I didn't think I could ever love someone again, and I did. I didn't want to let go the way it did, but I'm hurting and maybe I need time to work on me.

"shes heard so many lies; she don't know whats true or not."-Lil' Wayne

Tinyy Smalls (11:04:39 PM): hes lying about things he doesnt want to hurt you..

Tinyy Smalls (11:05:00 PM): we dont need to know everything nana.. we've had this discussion before.. i told you KNOWING everything is NOT what you want.

Tinyy Smalls (11:05:27 PM): NO ONE IS PERFECT.. when you look for dirt your going to find it..

Tinyy Smalls (11:05:48 PM): concentrate on whats infront of your face not whats behind it

Tinyy Smalls (11:06:35 PM): its not the future.. its whats infront of your face.. whats going on presently



This feels like a bad dream. I want to wake up already.